


Gonna Take A Lifetime

by l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4



Category: Rhett & Link, rhink - Fandom
Genre: AU where Link is not married, AU where Rhett and Link never grew up together, AU where Rhett is a divorced dad of two boys, Fluffy times a million, Fluffy with some smut, Just a whole bunch of fun, M/M, Some really fun smut, rhink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:26:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4/pseuds/l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4
Summary: Rhett McLaughlin loves his life. He has two amazing sons, wonderful parents that love and support him, a brother and sister-in-law whom always makes him smile, and a kick-ass recliner. He sees more of the recliner, though, thanks to being blessed to write for a living. Growing up bi-sexual, Rhett had been extremely disappointed with the lack of quality gay romances. So it became his mission in life to change that. His latest work-in-progress was about two men meeting and falling in love on a game show. But it was merely fiction, right? Something that amazing couldn’t happen to him in real life…or could it? Thankfully, it wasn’t gonna take a lifetime to find out…





	1. Marmite and Making Memories

* * *

 

 

 

**When you meet the one**

**who changes the way**

**your heart beats,**

**dance with them to that rhythim**

**for as long as the song lasts.**

**\- Kirk Diedrich**

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Seven months ago:**

It had all started with family game night. Jim McLaughlin was big on keeping his family as close as possible, so once a month the entire McLaughlin clan got together for dinner at his house. Then afterwards they'd play games and make many wonderful memories. It had really helped keep the family connected over the years.

 

For the previous three hours Jim; his wife, Diane; his daughter-in-law, Theressa; their grandsons, Locke and Shepherd; and his son, Rhett, had been competing against each other with multiple sets of board and video games. It was almost ten o'clock when they were sitting in the living room in two teams of three. An episode of Family Feud, that no one had seen yet, was paused on the giant flat screen thanks to TiVo.

 

“Okay, Team Bean, let me have your five answers for the following question…” Jim said holding a yellow legal pad and pen. “Name something you put in your mouth but you don't swallow.”

 

Locke was team captain so he had their list in hand as Rhett and Shepherd sat back, “Okay, Pappy Mac, Team Bean is going with gum, dentures, toothpicks, naughty body parts, and lollipops.”

 

Jim turned to his wife, “And what is Team Unicorn choosing?”

 

Diane looked at the list written on her iPad, “Team Unicorn has also chosen gum for first place, then thumbs, mouthwash, a pacifier, and lies.”

 

The thing about game night was that it wasn't just about let's-see-who-wins. Nope. A bit of ick was spooned into the mix. For the other regular games, only the loser had to take a small taste of Marmite, the gross British spread that tasted like salty death. But when they played Family Feud each time one of their answers got an X the whole team had to dip their spoons into the liquid. The two jars of Marmite and six spoons were lined up on the coffee table between the teams.

 

Jim picked up the remote and hit play. Lots of laughter permeated through the room as the second X turned out to be for dentures. Team Bean suffered a bite of Marmite for that one. The total round of spoons dipped for the question section ended up at three for the Beans and only one for the Unicorns.

 

Now for Fast Money, the rules were different. The TV was paused as soon as each question was read. But at the end when all the final answers were scored, and all the number ones were given…the team with the most incorrect had to eat a heaping spoon of the Marmite. Suffice it to say everyone tried to really think about the answers they gave.

 

“We could totally kick butt on that show.” Rhett said as he stood up after the episode was finished. Team Unicorn were the unlucky ones having to swallow the mound of Marmite.

 

Locke looked up at Rhett, “You know…we should do it. We could have a contest to pick our top five and then sign up for the show. It moved back here to California so it wouldn't be like having to pay for airfare and a hotel.”

 

All of a sudden, there was a buzz in the air.

 

Diane smiled, “I'm in.”

 

Theressa stood up and shook her head, “Sorry, guys, but I have no desire to be on TV. Cole is the outgoing one. I like my privacy too much…but I'll gladly sit in the audience to cheer for you.”

 

Shepherd nodded, “Yeah me too. I don't mind sitting in the audience but I'm way too shy to be in front of the cameras. I'd die. Besides I think I heard the age limit is fourteen and over.”

 

“Well, maybe we don't have to have a contest after all.” Locke said seeing how without his brother and Aunt there were only four people remaining. “We just need to get Uncle Cole to join us, but I'm sure he'll do it. Dad, maybe you should do the application. You're more gifted with words.”

 

Rhett smiled as he made his way over to Locke and slipped an arm around his son's shoulder, “I better be…that's my job.”

 

It was only going on ten-thirty by this point, but everyone was tired from a full day of work, school and play. They had been at game night since after supper at six o'clock and it had been four amazing and fun hours, but still, they were fine with turning off the TV and heading off to their appointed rooms for the night. Everyone was staying over at Jim and Diane's due to the time.

 

“Who's turn is it to make breakfast in the morning?” Diane asked as they headed up the staircase to the second floor.

 

Jim took out his iPhone and pulled up the calendar app, “Locke had the duty last month so next in line is Rhett.”

 

Rhett groaned since it meant having to wake up way earlier than he had planned.

 

“And, Son, don't forget Cole is coming over for breakfast too.”

 

That made Rhett happy. He didn't get to see his brother much now that the man got promoted to Senior Pastor.

 

Theressa smiled, “Yeah, he would have been here tonight but had an Elder board meeting at the church that he couldn't get away from.”

 

As they reached the top of the stairs Rhett turned to everyone, “Just so you know, I'm not taking individual requests for breakfast. You're getting scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon, and either coffee or juice.”

 

Shepherd moved over and hugged his dad, “Not even dippy eggs for me?”

 

Staring into those puppy-dog eyes was always Rhett's undoing, “Fine, Shep, just for you, though.”

 

As Jim and Diane walked into their bedroom Rhett's mom called out.“Night guys. Love you all very much.”

 

A few minutes later, Locke's voice was heard echoing through the rooms, “Goodnight Jim-Bob.” That was Rhett's Walton-ized nickname.

 

“Night, Locke.”

 

“Goodnight, Georgie.”

 

“Stop it! I am not Georgie.” said Shepherd. “I told you not to mention that movie ever again.”

 

“Goodnight, Momma Di.”

 

“Night, baby.”

 

“Goodnight, Pappy Mac.”

 

“Goodnight, Locke.”

 

“Goodnight, Auntie-Em.”

 

“Night, Toto.”

 

“Arf-arf!”

 


	2. Breakfast food with a side of Cole

* * *

 

As the alarm went off on his cell phone, consciousness slammed its evil anvil into Rhett's stomach and blinded him with a horrifyingly sunny sky. It was only six-thirty and it wasn't fair that it was this bright already. He hit the dismiss button and groaned. His stomach was still mad about the Marmite.

 

He reached into the nightstand, pulled out some Tums, and shoved them in his mouth. Rhett allowed himself to stay under the covers for five more minutes to allow the antacids to do its job. Two feet stuttered out of the bed then and pressed into the plush carpet. Standing up wasn't as easy with a churning gut, but Rhett somehow managed it. Thank the universe game night was only once a month.

 

The naked man trudged into the bathroom and took a quick shower. With most of people in the house having to get to work or school by nine he had to have food on the table as fast as possible.

 

Ten minutes later, sneakered feet moved from one carpet to the next and then onto hardwood as a fully dressed Rhett made his way down to the kitchen.

 

His dad's job as a professor had its perks. One of Rhett's favorite was the pay grade Jim McLaughlin earned that had paid for the huge, state-of-the-art kitchen. His dad also had several papers published in some big name law journals, but that did nothing for the man's bank account...only helped academically. It was still cool to see his dad's name in print, though.

 

Because of his dad knowing several prominent people in the publishing world, Rhett had gained a foot into the cut-throat business. Cole might have gotten their dad's business mind, charm and ease with people, but the man's academic mind and writing ability went to Rhett.

 

Maybe Rhett's books weren't going to win any medals but he had his own cult following. It gave Rhett enough income to travel with his boys and do pretty much whatever he wanted. Which usually just meant sitting in his overstuffed recliner, tapping away on his laptop and creating another new story.

 

Right now, though, Rhett was opening up the fridge at his parents' house…getting out the butter, eggs, and bacon. The Keurig was flipped on next and soon the smell of coffee was filling the carafe and kitchen with its mouthwatering aroma. Something that helped Rhett wake up even further so he didn't burn himself while cooking.

 

He was stirring up the eggs when the back door opened and his brother, Cole, walked in.

 

“Hey, baby brother, I see I'm just in time.”

 

“Hey, Cole. You missed a killer game night last night.”

 

The guy smirked and playfully punched Rhett's stomach causing him to groan and rub his rumbling gut. “Yeah, I bet.” Cole took a seat at the table. The guy's suit jacket carefully placed around the back of the chair.

 

“Hey, Uncle Cole.” Locke's sleepy voice said as the teenager walked into the kitchen and made his way over to the table.

 

“Morning, runt.”

 

Theressa, Diane, and Shepherd came into the kitchen next. All three went over to hug Cole and sit down next to the man. Everyone just chated together as they waited for Rhett to finish cooking. Five minutes later as the last pancake was piled onto the plate, the five people sitting at the table all cheered.

 

Rhett was glad for such a large table since he was able to lay out all the food and plates in the middle and still have room for his family around it. He handed Shepherd a plate with dippy eggs and said, “Eat up, people. Who wants coffee?”

 

Everyone but the two boys raised a hand. Rhett got them a glass of orange juice instead.

 

Jim walked into the kitchen then. The older guy looked all comfy in his pjs and grey robe. “Morning family. Everything looks good, Rhett.”

 

“Thanks, Dad.”

 

Once all the coffee mugs were handed out and everyone was happy, Rhett took his seat.

 

“Don't forget to check on the application today, Dad.” Locke reminded him while munching on a slice of crispy bacon.

 

“Application for what?” Cole asked.

 

“We're going to be on the Family Feud.” Diane said with excitement. “Well try out for it anyways.”

 

“Whoa! How much Marmite did you guys consume last night?” Cole said looking around at all the excited faces.

 

"Way too much." Shepherd said spooning some dippy egg onto a slice of bread.

 

Rhett just sat there and enjoyed having everyone together. As much as he liked his own apartment, it sure was quiet and lonely compared to all this. "Locke, getting back to your previous mention of the application…I plan on taking you and Shepherd to school then heading home, planting my butt in my recliner, and checking it out before lunchtime. I want to have it all taken care of early so I can get some writing done this afternoon.”

 

Jim's head shook, “I don't know how you can work in a recliner. That would drive me insane. When I write, I need the structured stiffness of a chair and a desk to get anything done.”

 

Cole grinned evilly, “Well, Dad, you write papers for law journals, and college textbooks whereas our little devil here just writes smut.”

 

Being the only bi-sexual member of the McLaughlin family Rhett was used to the teasing. Rhett blushed. “It isn't smut. It's gay erotic romances. Something we need more of in this world.”

 

"You know I'm proud of you, baby brother." Cole said with all sincerity. "I know most church people spout more hate than love, but my hope is for everyone to find someone to love.

 

"Yeah, I know, Cole. And I totally agree. The right to love and be loved shouldn't be based on what body parts you have."

 

Theressa smiled, "Amen, Rhett."

 

Locke turned to Cole then, “So Uncle Cole, we need a fifth family member to join our team…you up for it?”

 

Cole just grinned back at the hopeful teenager, “Heck Yes!”

 


	3. Work First and then Dessert

* * *

 

 

Seven bellies were full and happy as the now empty plates, and cups covered the table. Everyone pitched in then and soon the kitchen was spotless while the dishwasher was loaded and running. Locke and Shepherd headed back upstairs to get ready for school while Theressa and Cole said their goodbyes and left.

 

Twenty minutes later Rhett and the boys were saying their own goodbyes, and giving Momma Di and Pappy Mac big hugs before heading to the car.

 

“Love you, guys.” Diane called out as she and Jim waved at them from the front porch.

 

A quick trip to the boys' schools followed and within thirty minutes Rhett was back at his apartment. Jessie, Rhett's ex-wife, would be picking the boys up from school so he would have all day to get some writing done. He was glad they had parted ways amicably. It made life and raising the two boys so much simpler.

 

Now Rhett's Van Nuys apartment wasn't anything special. He pretty much let the boys decorate it since they cared more about that stuff than he did. The only objects in the place that had Rhett's attention were the huge seventy-five inch Samsung Q8 Smart TV, his top-of-the-line MacBook Pro, and his beloved recliner. Those three things were the fundamental elements of his writing time.

 

Even his bed was little more than just a cot since like any writer or creative person would understand, sleep just meant wasting valuable time. This was why Rhett never slept much through the night like normal human beings did…well except the one night each month when he was sick to his stomach thanks to Marmite and game night.

 

Instead, he allowed his body to nap off-and-on throughout the day. It worked well for him and was one of the key components of how fast he finished so many manuscripts way before the publisher's deadline.

 

Well, that and his insatiable imagination. Within a second of seeing a person, Rhett would have a storyline churning away in his brain. And if the idea stuck, he wrote it…the rest he just let slide away. If not for his family, Rhett probably wouldn't even think about leaving his place at all. Just wouldn't.

 

Shutting the door behind him, Rhett let the keys drop onto one of many bookshelves that hugged each and every wall he owned. Half the shelves were crowded with books on all topics and genres while the other half were empty just waiting to be filled. The bookcases in the living room were the ones that housed all his masterpieces…published and not. Seeing them as he looked up from writing provided him with constant encouragement when he hit a dry spell.

 

This was the very site he saw that day as he sat his butt onto the extra-wide recliner. The chair's unique corduroy material comfortable without being like leather that would stick to his bare legs. And the extra-wide seat allowing him to have a stack of notes by his side without having to worry about them falling off the arm. He had tried trays but they just annoyed him…just give him a cooling pad and his laptop right on his thighs any day.

 

Rhett grabbed the TV remote and tapped away until the YouTube app opened on the screen. His different writing playlists appeared on the left-hand side. He picked the one labeled Throb since he needed to think more for the application. That particular playlist being mostly an instrumental collection of songs such as Linkin Park's _One More Light_ and Tibetan singing bowl with OM chanting. The range of genres helped his brain stay focused as he worked.

 

With the twenty songs playing on random and repeat, Rhett picked up his laptop and headed to the Family Feud website. After his birthday was inputted and the orange apply button hit, the application form appeared. Rhett took his time to fill it out and reread it once he was done. When Rhett was satisfied with it he took a screenshot and clicked on the apply button.

 

 

He went to Facebook then so he could get his Dad's opinion if it sounded okay. Messenger allowed the user to create a nickname for each contact so instead of searching the list for Jim, Rhett looked in the Ps for PappyMac. That was the nickname the boys had given their grandfather and since the boys used Rhett's account to talk to their grandparents they had labelled it that.

 

 

BeanLover9: Hey Dad, I did it…application is sent.

 

PappyMac: Cool, Rhett

 

BeanLover9: Read it and tell me what you think…

 

BeanLover9: Hello, my name is Rhett. My family is ardent fans of Family Feud. I've been playing along since I could speak, and my father has been a fan since the very beginning with Richard Dawson. We'd love a chance to show what we're made of. Our team would consist of myself…I'm an avid writer and spend most of my days writing gay romances…and I even make a decent living from it. My father, Jim, is a Professor of Law at Berkley. Then we have my wonderful mom, Diane. She was the one that introduced me to Hell Raiser but she'll deny it if you ask her. Next is my older brother, Cole. He's a Pastor at Peace Presbyterian. My oldest son, Locke, would be the final member of the team. He's fourteen and smart as a whip. He and my other son, Shepherd, live with their mom most of the time, but they spend their summers with me. If chosen, the McLaughlins will bring all our passion and excitement for the show with us. Trust me, we're quite a wild bunch. I've attached a video of myself and the boys from my YouTube channel. Thanks, Rhett J. McLaughlin.

 

PappyMac: Sounds good to me, Son.

 

BeanLover9: Thanks. So what do you and Mom have planned for the night?

 

PappyMac: Not sure.

 

PappyMac: Might have a hot date.

 

PappyMac: If I get the stack of papers graded in time, we might go see a movie tonight.

 

PappyMac: Well, I'm going to be turning off my phone now for a bit…

 

PappyMac: I have two classes today.

 

BeanLover9: Okay, Dad. Love you.

 

PappyMac: Ditto, Rhett

 

PappyMac: Bye

 

 

Rhett quickly clicked on the GrubHub bookmark then and pre-ordered a large meat-lovers pizza for six o'clock. The food delivery website was a writer's best friend. So many times Rhett was in the middle of a typing volcano and suddenly it was midnight. Without the ability to pre-order meals before he got started, Rhett would die of starvation while sitting in his recliner.

 

He moved to his writing program of choice then, Open Office, and pulled up his latest work-in-progress. He reread the last two pages to get back into it but for some reason he felt very unfocused.

 

Rhett laid back in the recliner with the laptop balanced on his thighs. An instrumental version of the White Stripes' _Seven Nation_ played on the TV. The thumping beat mocking him to write something, but instead, his brain just started thinking about the possibility of getting on Family Feud. Rhett wondered who they'd get to play against?

 

And BOOM!

 

Just like that, he saw a storyline for a romance. Two guys meet while contestants on a game show. It was brilliant.

 

So from ten o'clock till the doorbell rang at six for the pizza delivery, Rhett's fingers never stopped flying over the laptop's keyboard. And if the doorbell hadn't rung twice, he'd still be writing.

 

“I'll be right there.” Rhett put the footrest down and stood up. It felt weird to be walking after so much time sitting. He was sure his eyes were all weird and hazy as he opened the front door.

 

After having written four sex scenes, the hunky delivery guy looked right out of a porno. As Rhett handed over a generous tip, his brain was thinking of another tip he could give the pizza man. “Thanks.”

 

The college kid did a slow appraisal up and down Rhett's tall body. “My pleasure, sir. Where should I put this?”

 

The pizza box was thrust forward. The invitation quite clear. Take the box and the dude leaves. Let the pizza man in, and pizza wouldn't be the only thing Rhett was eating that night.

 

“Come in…you can set it down on the coffee table.”

 

While he followed the guy into the living room, Rhett's green eyes moved down the man's back…resting on the nice denim-covered ass. He shut the door and smiled…time for some hands-on research.

 


	4. Vampires and Butterflies

* * *

 

 

**Six months later**

At ten o'clock on a Wednesday night, Rhett stood in front of Cole's apartment knocking on the door. A white postcard with the logo for Family Feud on the back in his non-knocking hand.

 

 

A very disheveled man finally opened the door “Dude, do you know what time it is? Most normal humans sleep when the sky is dark, brat.” Cole said.

 

Theressa stuck her head out of the bedroom door, “Hey, Rhett. Everyone okay?”

 

“Yeah. Sorry about the lateness of my visit but I was too excited and couldn't wait to show you guys.” Rhett held up the postcard.

 

“NO WAY!” A pajama clad Theressa ran over and took the postcard from Rhett.

 

Rhett grinned big, “YES WAY!”

 

“We got in?” Cole asked still half-asleep.

 

“Yeah, we did.”

 

“Let me see this.” Cole grabbed the card from his wife and turned it around. “It says we have to arrive at NBC Universal Studios the last week of July. That only like a month away.”

 

Rhett took the postcard back, “I called Dad so he could get that week off. And then I called Jessie and the boys. They were so excited I felt bad for her...they probably won't be sleeping any time soon. Oh and Dad wants to have a meeting this coming Saturday with everyone.”

 

“Well, we'll be there. Now let us get back to sleep, Lestat.” Cole teased.

 

Theressa gave Rhett a quick excited hug, “This is going to be so much fun.”

 

“See you Saturday. Night guys.”

 

As Rhett walked out to his car, his phone started to ring. “Hello?”

 

“Hey Rhett, it's Randy.”

 

Why the heck was his publisher calling now? Nothing was due. “What's up? You did get my manuscript last week right?”

 

“That's why I called.”

 

Rhett's chest tightened. Fuck, they didn't like it. “Any issues with it?”

 

“What? Oh no! Not at all. Stevie loved it so much she wants to get it to press right away. It's out to the editors for a final read through.”

 

“Really? Awesome.”

 

“You'll probably receive a call by the end of next week to come in and sign off on it. The e-book version will be available the day after.”

 

First the postcard from Family Feud and now this…best day ever. “So cool. Thanks, Randy.”

 

“Thank you, Rhett. This one is going to make us all a lot of money.”

 

As Rhett hit the end button he wasn't thinking about the money. What thrilled him more was getting to walk into Barnes & Nobles and see his work on the shelves. Or going to Amazon.com and reading the reviews.

 

Who knew all those months ago, that a story about two men falling in love on a game show would have worked out this well.

 

 

**One Month Later**

“Can I have the McLaughlin family please.” The stagehand with the clipboard said as the guy's head poked into the green room.

 

Five very excited and nervous people stood and walked over. The guy's name-tag read, Alex. “You'll be the next team up, so get into your show clothes. We should be done taping the current episode in less than twenty minutes.”

 

Rhett grabbed the garment bag that held all their outfits, and Locke carried the backpack with their hair brushes and other necessary toiletries to the changing room. All throughout the building, flat screens showed the live broadcast of the episode being filmed. The changing rooms also had a TV mounted on the wall over the small sofa.

 

The Neals and the Barnetts were neck and neck after two questions. The Neals having already won the previous three episodes. While Rhett got dressed he watched Steve walk over to Jay Barnett. “Hey, Miss Jay, you got to be careful. Your family has two strikes. Name a word or phrase that starts with the word Pot.”

 

The blond in the gray dress looked up at the answers already on the board, “Umm…I…Pot…ato.”

 

The audience cheered as Steve just stared at her.

 

He turned to the still applauding people, “Why y'all clapping?”

 

This got a round of laughter from the crowd.

 

Steve cracked up then as well, “Pot-ato? Nobody ever says pot-ato.”

 

Jay smiled, “Doesn't potato start with pot?”

 

Steve tapped the card to his forehead and sighed, “Yes, it starts with pot but we all know no one says POT-ato…they say po-tato.”

 

Everyone laughed as Steve started to walk over to the Neals, “I'm just going to…get a head start on things.”

 

Jay just shook her head, “Fine…okay, I see how it is.”

 

Steve didn't even look at the board, “POT-ato!”

 

A ding sounded and everyone was stunned. Potato was revealed as the number four answer. As the Barnetts celebrated, Steve just moved as close to the board as he could and stared up at it.

 

The stagehand knocked on the door, “Is everyone ready to go? We have last looks in two minutes.”

 

Rhett looked around at his family and had to admit they looked hot. It had been his idea to have everyone wear blue and yellow…and hell! It had turned out even better than he had planned. “We're all ready if you want to come in, Alex.”

 

The college-aged kid opened the door, and Rhett could tell the guy was impressed. “Oh yeah, you guys will pass. You're going to stay in here till we call for you. Should be about ten-fifteen minutes. The Neals seem to be holding the lead.”

 

Alex left then and they carefully sat down and watched the rest of the live feed while they waited.

 


	5. First Contact

* * *

 

 

The Neals did win by a considerable amount and even won the twenty-thousand dollars in Fast Money. That brought their four-episode total close to sixty-one thousand. Pretty impressive actually.

 

Rhett was most impressed with the Neals' captain, Link. If anyone embodied the main character in his game show romance…that blue-eyed, dark-haired man did. He was definitely going to record the Neal episodes on his TiVo when they aired. Not only for his spank bank but to keep Link's image fresh to use as a character in one of his books.

 

Rhett's pants were getting tighter, so he made himself look away from the TV. Thankfully this was when Alex came back to escort them to the stage. The nervous tension and excitement were enough to get his body back under control.

 

It was so wild to walk onto the Family Feud stage and see the name McLaughlin on the one wall. Fuck! They had actually made it. Now all they had to do was beat the unbeaten Neals.

 

There was a great deal of action happening as they waited for the filming to start. The old audience was changed over with fresh faces, and the camera crews were moving back into first position. A few minutes later Steve Harvey came on stage to say hello to the new audience and talk to both teams. It was astonishing how many suits the show must have in wardrobe since the host changed for each episode.

 

When the guy moved over to their side, Rhett was impressed with Steve's kindness. Even when Locke had been bouncing off the walls with excitement the guy had just stayed calm and polite. The host had leaned over then and whispered something into Rhett's ear which had made him chuckle.

 

Five minutes later Steve was off stage and everyone was quiet as the audience listened to their instructions.

 

“Okay everyone what are we going to do when the red light comes on over the cameras?” Rubin, the show's between-episodes-entertainment, boisterously asked the crowd.

 

The ninety-eight strangers plus Theressa and Shepherd started cheering and clapping enthusiastically.

 

“And what are we going to do when a contestant gets an answer correct?”

 

Even more thunderous cheers and laughter filled the room.

 

“And finally when someone gets the answer wrong and an X appears?”

 

A hundred gasps and softer clapping sounded.

 

“Okay are y'all ready to have the best time of your life?” Rubin asked.

 

“Yeeesssss!” They all screamed and cheered and clapped.

 

“All right, here we go!”

 

The lights were dimmed and Rubin moved offstage. A red light appeared over the center camera as the show's theme song started and Joey Fatone's voice came over the speakers, “This is Joey Fatone…it's time to play FAMILY FEUD!”

 

From the right of the stage next to the Neals, walked out a very happy Steve Harvey.

 

Joey's voice spoke once more, “Give it up for STTTEEEVVVEEEE HARVEY!”

 

When the host reached the x on center stage, the song ended and Steve greeted the audience. The excitement in the room was like touching a live wire.

 

Rhett didn't have to pretend to cheer and go wild…he felt it and then some. It was so surreal to be on the other side of the TV screen. His heart just thumped away like crazy. Since he was team captain for the McLaughlins it meant he had the first position. It also meant he'd be up against Link Neal. His cock twitched at that.

 

Steve's hands were clapping as the host grinned ever bigger, “Hey welcome to Family Feud everybody. I'm your man, Steve Harvey, and like always we got another good one for you today. Returning for the fifth day, with the total of sixty-thousand, nine hundred and twenty-five dollars from Buies Creek, North Carolina…it's the Neal family.”

 

The crowd went wild as the red light moved to the right camera which panned over for a shot of the Neals cheering like fiends.

 

The center camera had the red light again as Steve said, “And from Burbank, California, a stones throw away from of our new studio…it's the McLaughlin family.”

 

Louder cheers, thanks to Theressa and Shepherd, came from the audience as the red light lit up over the left camera. After all the years of watching the show plus hearing their name spoken by Steve, the McLaughlin team utterly lost their minds with joy. Even Steve chuckled at the overabundance of their cheering.

 

The center camera zoomed in on Steve then, “I wanna give away some money…let's get it on. Give me, Rhett…give me, Link. Let's go!”

 

The music swelled as the two captains moved to the buzzer podium and shook hands. Rhett's body shivered at the contact and he tried to play it off but felt a bit awkward in doing so. Even when Rhett lowered his palm to the podium it felt like it was burning. Only saving grace was the same confused expression on Link's face.

 

Steve picked up the yellow card with the first question typed on it, “Guys here we go. We got the top seven answers on the board. Name something a doctor might pull out of a person?”

 

Rhett was the first to buzz in.

 

“Rhett?”

 

Oh, fuck! Steve Harvey was talking to him. Rhett's brain abandoned him for a second, and he tried to think. “Gerbil!”

 

Instantly, he groaned at what had escaped his mouth as the audience went into a frenzy of laughter and Steve stared at him. What was worst was Link laughing so hard that Rhett could see all the way to the back of the guy's throat. And hell if that didn't make him imagine very inappropriate things.

 

Rhett tried to fix things as he glanced over at the still staring host, “I didn't mean that…I didn't say that.”

 

Link burst into another bout of laughter.

 

Rhett looked back and forth between the two men, “I…I just heard about something like that once…” Which was a true statement since in his fourth book he actually had one of the guys go a bit over the top with playtime.

 

Steve just shook his head, “Oh trust me you said it. You said it just right out like that.”

 

Link was choking on laughter, “Oh this is awesome.”

 

Steve just glared at Rhett, “First thing you come up with…”

 

A snort almost escaped Link's mouth.

 

“BAM! Gerbil…just like that.” Steve kept shaking his head, “First question and your answer…BAM! Gerbil!

 

Rhett’ head arched back as he started laughing too…half from knowing how ridiculous his answer had been and half from embarrassment with how big Steve was making it.

 

Didn't help matters that Link was staring at him and cracking up too…the dude's blue eyes almost sparkling from mirth.

 

Steve tapped the desk and said gerbil over and over with each contact before picking up the card, “Name something a doctor might pull out of a person. BAM!” The guy put down the card again and pointed back to the board, “GERBIL!”

 

The place erupted in shock and awe as ANIMAL was revealed to be in the number six spot. Two points were added to the tally screen above the board. Everyone was just cracking up as Steve stared dumbfounded at the board.

 

As Link verbally congratulated Rhett on the answer the guy's hand started to lift upward for a high-five. Rhett's hand met the lifted one and sparks flew.

 

Shit!

 

Steve asked Link for a guess since there were five answers higher than Rhett's.

 

Link took a second and said, “Light bulb, Steve.”

 

“A what now?” Steve asked staring at the guy. “Did you say light bulb?”

 

Link grinned big and that's when Rhett's legs almost buckled. Hell! The guy was a walking porno.

 

“Haven't you ever watched _Scrubs_ , Steve? You know the episode where the guy comes in with a light bulb stuck up his…”

 

Rhett laughed, “Oh man, yeah, I saw that one.”

 

Steve looked from one to the other with a horrified expression, “Hell no! I hate when the damn doctor sticks a finger up me…I damn sure ain't watching a show where that happens.”

 

The guy turned to the board, “LIGHT BULB!”

 

Again Steve was shocked as HOUSEHOLD ITEMS was revealed in the number seven spot. One more point was added to the tally making it three now.

 

But since Rhett got the higher-spot he was the one that got to chose whether his family played or passed. “We're going to play, Steve.”

 

Steve followed Rhett over to the McLaughlin side while Link walked back to his family and they huddled together to think of answers.

 

“Well, Rhett, how about you introduce your family.”

 

Rhett turned and smiled at his dad, “This handsome man is my father, Jim. He is a published Professor of Law at Berkley. The lovely lady next to him is my mom, Diane. Next to her is my handsome son, Locke. And last but not least at the end we have my wickedly-intelligent, older brother, Cole. He's a Pastor.”

 

Steve moved over to Jim and shook the older man's hand, “Okay, sir, Name something a doctor might pull out of a person?”

 

“Well…I'd say a baby.”

 

The crowds cheered as Rhett and Locke both high-fived Pappy Mac for that awesome answer.

 

Steve nodded in approval, “Now we're talking.” With a finger pointed toward the board, the guy called out, “A BABY!”

 

The number one slot flipped to show A BABY. Forty-five points were added to the total.

 

Moving to Diane, Steve smiled warmly at the older woman, “Well, Miss Diane?”

 

Diane didn't need time to think of an answer, “A tumor, Steve.”

 

The audience erupted with applause at that one and Steve gave her a high-five. “A TUMOR!”

 

TUMOR/CANCER appeared in the number two spot followed by a happy celebration from the McLaughlins. In the midst of which, Jim gave Diane a big side-hug and cheek kiss. Another twenty-two points were added to the total.

 

When Steve turned to go to Locke and saw the teenager grinning a bit too big…the host gasped, “Whoa…just wow.”

 

Steve walked away towards the buzzer podium, “You ever walk up to someone and see the look on their face and you just know! I walked up to Locke and went WHOA!”

 

The crowd laughed as Locke didn't dispute anything.

 

“I mean, man!” Steve continued to rant to the audience, “You talk about the cat that ate the canary look.” He mimicked Locke's Cheshire grin to everyone's delight.

 

With a bowed head, Steve moved back to Locke and murmured, “Locke, I'm going to ask you the question. I want you to think about this show…and all the years it's aired…how many families have enjoyed this wonderful show of Christian entertainment. So find a way to give me your answer…and keep it so we can all be working here tomorrow.”

 

Locke grinned even bigger, “Well, I only know this word because of my dad…their vas deferens, Steve.”

 

“Their vast what now?”

 

“It's the part of the nuts they take when a guy gets snipped. Dad had a vasectomy last year and that's what they removed.”

 

Locke playfully patted Steve’s shoulder as the host stared at the yellow question card. The rest of the McLaughlins were just shaking their heads...especially Rhett who was bright red from embarrassment.

 

“I know it's up there, Steve.” Locke said with not one ounce of shame or remorse. “Everyone knows it…it's up there. We’re going for the money, Steve”

 

In a very mocking voice, Steve said, “We’re going for the money so that makes it alright…it doesn’t matter my uncle's a pastor. A trip to hell is worth twenty thousand dollars.”

 

Still not embarrassed, Locke replied, “You know it's up there, Steve.”

 

“NO, I DON”T KNOW A DANG THING what's up there.” Steve said with a mock growl. “What you ain't going to do is drag me into your crazy little world!” Not really wanting to repeat the answer Locke had given, Steve hung his head and whispered, “Vas deferens.”

 

The buzzer sounded and a big red X showed up on the board. The audience groaned, but Steve started to cheer and jump around. He even started doing a dance.

 

“Yeah, yeah! It ain't up there. Yeah, yeah! We can all still probably go to heaven. Heeeeyyyy! Hey, hey!” Steve pointed at Locke. “Boooyah!”

 

With a strut to his step, Steve moved over to Cole. “You only got one strike, man. Name something a doctor might pull out of a person?”

 

Cole, having plenty of time to think during the whole Locke moment, promptly said, “An appendix, Steve.”

 

The crowd agreed and cheered. Steve turned back to Locke, “See the Pastor gave a normal body part.”

 

This had everyone cracking up.

 

Steve pointed to the board, “APPENDIX!”

 

The number three slot turned and APPENDIX/GALLBLADDER appeared. Eighteen more points were added to the tally.

 

Walking back to Rhett, Steve grinned. “Oh boy, this should be good. Whatcha have for us this time, Rhett?”

 

Rhett once again fell back on head knowledge of things he's written and said, “A…ummm…fruit or vegetable.”

 

The crowd gasped and laughed. Steve turned away and tore up the question card. Walking over to Link, Steve put an arm around the guy's shoulder. “So you're sticking light bulbs up inside, and that guy is stuffing animals and fruit.”

 

Link grinned over at Rhett and winked, “My kind of a man.”

 

Rhett just laughed and pointed over to Link, “Yeah, buddy!”

 

This had Steve falling to the floor and laughing his ass off.

 

It took almost two minutes for Steve to get up and when he did, he was still trying not to laugh. He even had to wipe his eyes as he moved back to Jim.

 

“Hey, Jim…”

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“Keep the fruit baskets away from your boy here.”

 

Everyone died as the noise levels sky-rocketed with every type of laugh.

 

Steve lowered his head and pointed to board, “FRUITS or VEGGIES!”

 

Even more pandemonium happened when the fourth slot turned to show FOOD ITEMS. Another eighteen points were added to the total.

 

Steve turned to the camera and said very deadpan, “We going to hell, folks!”

 

Turning to Jim, “Okay, sir, we have one more answer left. Something between insertable food and a live animal.” Steve rubbed his face just imagining what that could be.

 

“Well, how about glass? Like broken glass?”

 

Steve grimaced, “Like the bad side of Link's answer.”

 

“BROKEN GLASS!”

 

Cheers sounded as GLASS/SPLINTERS/METAL was revealed to be the last remaining answer. Nine more points joined the rest on the tally screen equaling one hundred points. The McLaughlin side started to jump and went a bit wild as they celebrated the points being moved over to their side.

 

Steve stared into the camera, “Don't know about y'all but I need a commercial break after that one.”

 

A few seconds later a female voice from offstage called out, “Cut!”

 

The co-executive producer, Sara Dansby, walked onto the set and smiled, “Great job so far, guys. This is already stacking up to be a great episode. If anyone needs a bathroom break please do it now…filming will start up in about five minutes.”

 


	6. His Lips...My Name

* * *

 

 

The two families were allowed to move away from their sides and mingle together in the middle. Link moved over to Rhett and smiled, “I loved your answers so far. I swear I read something with both a gerbil and a carrot shoved up a guy's backside. As soon as you said them I was cracking up seeing the storyline replay in my head.”

 

Rhett felt hopeful, “Are you talking about a gay romance story?”

 

Link blushed a sexy pink, “Well, I was bored and found these great books on Amazon. I purchased the kindle version and was hooked at page one. Suffice it to say my Kindle is filled with everything and anything that T.G. Mitchell writes.”

 

BOING! Rhett's heart and cock twitched at that. Oh how much he wanted to inform the sexy man that T.G. Mitchell was actually him. “Yeah, I read those books too. Hence why my brain spit out those answers without really consulting me.”

 

A warm hand was placed on Rhett's shoulder. Hell! It was like Zeus had jammed a lightning bolt under the guy's hand into Rhett's flesh…sending surges of electricity right to his crotch. “Hey, at least you got up on the board. My long shot fizzled. I thought for sure there would be enough _Scrubs_ fans to get it up on the board.”

 

“My favorite is Cox!” Rhett said.

 

His hand face-planted over his eyes at how that had come out. “I meant, Dr. Cox from the show.”

 

That big ole grin showed up and just made matters worse, “I know what you meant, man.”

 

Sara's voice was heard then, “Okay, we're about to start back up. Everyone, please head back to your sides.”

 

Rhett was about to turn and walk away when Link reached out and grabbed his arm. Green eyes looked questioning into blue…especially as the guy leaned closer and whispered into Rhett's ear, “I also like the other kind of cocks too.”

 

A shit-ass grin spread across Rhett's face as he watched the naughty fucker walk away. Fuck yes!

 

From off stage, Sara said, “Okay, back in three…two…”

 

“Welcome back to the madhouse, y'all.” Steve said smiling into the camera. “Let's get right to it. Give me, Jim…give me, Charles.”

 

The theme music played as each guy got cheered on by their family as they made their way to the podium.

 

Steve picked up the next question card, “Here we go. Top seven answers are on the board. When you were a kid name something you used as a partner to practice kissing.”

 

Jim hit the buzzer first.

 

“Jim?”

 

Looking embarrassed, Jim said, “My sister.”

 

The crowd gasped and Steve stared.

 

Jim's body arched back as he broke out in nervous laughter.

 

Steve just blinked trying to process what Jim had said.

 

“She's never going to forgive me for this either.”

 

Charles snorted, “No. No, she's not.”

 

Steve turned to look at Diane, “Darling, you know about this?”

 

She nodded and laughed.

 

Steve chuckled and pointed at the board, “Yeahhh, his SISTER!”

 

The number five spot flipped to show SIBLING. Seven points were added to the total screen. The crowd erupted in cheers, Jim clapped happily, and Charles laughed as Steve laid his head on the podium in shock.

 

Steve stood back up and grinned at Jim, “Well you got seven other people that are going to be in the same hell as you.”

 

Steve turned to Charles since the number one answer hadn't been guessed, “Charles?”

 

“Well, I used a pillow.”

 

“A pillow? Really? Hmmm…A PILLOW!”

 

Pillow was the number one answer and a whopping thirty points got added.

 

Charles turned to ask his family what they wanted to do since it was his turn to choose pass or play. Turning back to Steve he said, “We're going to play.”

 

Jim started to walk back to the McLaughlin side when Steve called out to him, “Hey, Jim…”

 

The guy turned back to the host, “Yeah?”

 

“…hang in there, buddy.”

 

Jim took the ribbing and laughed. Diane hugged him and kissed his red cheek.

 

Walking over to the Neals, Steve told Charles, “Good answer. I never heard of using a pillow before.” He moved to Sue then, “Miss Sue, when you were a kid name something you used as a partner to practice kissing.”

 

“I'm going to say I used my hand, Steve.” She held up her fist. Her family chanted that it was a good answer as Steve stared in honest confusion.

 

Sue demonstrated how she would do it, and it looked like she was jerking someone off. Steve's covered his eyes with the question card, “Oh, hell. Oh, I’m sorry, I'm sorry. I was sooo somewhere else.”

 

Looking at the board, he points, “USE YOUR HAND!”

 

HAND was in the number five spot. Only five points got added.

 

Getting right to business, Steve went to Jenn, “Jenn, here we go…When you were a kid name something you used as a partner to practice kissing.”

 

The twenty-six year old looked embarrassed, “I'm going to say a sucker.”

 

Locke’s head shot up from across the way and grinned at the blond woman, “HELL YES!”

 

Jenn blushed.

 

Steve looked even more confused than he had with Sue's hand question, “A sucker? Like a lollipop? How the hell does the even work?”

 

“I can't explain it, sir. If you had one I could show you.”

 

A blur moved from the McLaughlin side and stopped next to Steve. Locke was panting as he held out a wrapped Tootsie pop he had had in his pocket. “I think we desperately need you to show us how this happens.”

 

The slight pink that had been on Jenn's cheeks turned bright red as she looked into Locke's hazel eyes. But the lollipop was taken and unwrapped. Jenn brought the circular candy to her lips and proceeded to kiss it.

 

Locke started clapping before the audience even started.

 

Steve glared at the overly excited teenager before he turned to the board, “A SUCKER!”

 

A red X showed up on the screen.

 

Locke winked at Jenn and whispered, “If you need anything else to kiss, my pockets are full of many other suitable things.”

 

Steve shoved the perverted teenager back over to the McLaughlin side before heading to Chase. “Hey, man. I have to tell you that I'm finding all this fascinating. Cause, hell, I don't know any of this. The pillow thing really threw me off and yet it was number one. So…hey…who knows. Okay, Chase, let's hear your answer.”

 

“Steve, I'm going to say with the neighbor kid.”

 

Steve pretended to kiss someone, “Come here, you little devil.” He turned to the board, “ONE OF THE NEIGHBOR KIDS!”

 

Two Xs showed up this time. The audience groaned.

 

Steve headed back to Link, “All right, let's go. Y'all got two strikes. Got to be careful…the McLaughlin family can steal.”

 

Rhett and the rest of the McLaughlin clan made Xs with their arms.

 

Link rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m going to say stuffed animal…like a teddy bear.”

 

Steve brown-eyes widened, Oh…wow…just wow!”

 

Laughter suddenly burst out of the host's mouth, “I just see the teddy bear laying on your bed like, 'Yeahhh! Uh-huh! Kiss me, blue-eyes…oh yeah!'”

 

Across the stage, a certain green-eyed man was now hyper-focused on those sexy bespectacled eyes. Rhett's tongue moving out to lick his bearded lips.

 

Steve was still going on about the teddy bear, “That has got to be the luckiest bear in the world, man. Cause I'm one hundred percent straight and I'm telling you…you're damn attractive. I'd be asking the bear, 'Don't you wish you'd be something else?' And the bear be like, “Nuh-uh. Link will be home any minute now.'”

 

Link was almost as red-faced as his cousin, Jenn, had been with Locke and the lollipop.

 

Steve turned to the board, “A TEDDY BEAR!”

 

STUFFED ANIMAL was the number four answer. Eleven points were added to the total.

 

Steve moved back to Charles, “Sir, this all started with you and the pillow. When you were a kid name something you used as a partner to practice kissing.”

 

“Well, Steve, this might be a little strange but what about the mirror?”

 

“The mirror?”

 

“Yes, like in a bedroom and pretending your reflection was the other person.”

 

Steve shrugs, “THE MIRROR!”

 

Number three flipped and MIRROR was added to the other answers. Twelve points joined the fifty-three.

 

“Miss Sue, let’s go. Two strikes. When you were a kid name something you used as a partner to practice kissing.”

 

“A doll?”

 

“A DOLL!”

 

The number two spot showed DOLL and now the question's total jumped to eighty-two.

 

Steve looked at the Neals with mirth twinkling from those brown eyes, “Man, y'all were having a good time when you were kids.”

 

The host turned to Jenn, “Two strikes, Jenn. Got to choose your answer carefully or the McLaughlins will have a chance to steal all your family's points.”

 

Jenn had to think about an answer this time. Something came to her but she seemed embarrassed to say what it was.

 

“Yeah…might as well just say it.” Steve said seeing all this. “I want to hear this one.”

 

Jenn ran a hand down her face, “An orange, Steve.”

 

“An orange?! WHAT?! What were y'all doing at your house?” The guy glared at them all and they just cracked up. “Your uncle got a pillow and a mirror. Your aunt got her hand and this poor baby doll that needs therapy. Your brother is going around kissing the neighbors. Your cousin's teddy bear is waiting on him to get home…and you…you're being bad with lollipops and making out with fruit.”

 

Steve pretended to talk as if he was the orange, “Come on, baby, I'm ready…let's do it, Jenn.” He posed sexy again as if making out before turning to the board, “AN ORANGE!”

 

FRUIT/ORANGE showed up at number seven. A hundred points moved over to the Neal's side since the family cleared the board.

 

Steve flung his hands up and tossed away the question card as he walked away from the celebrating family. He turned then and playfully bowed to Jenn.

 

 


	7. Show and Tell

* * *

 

 

“Well, we have a tied game, folks. Let's go even further down the rabbit hole. Give me, Diane…give me, Sue.”

 

The two women moved to the buzzer podium amidst cheers and the theme song. They quickly shook hands and got into position.

 

“Okay, ladies, top six answers are on the board. Name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

Diane was the first to hit the buzzer.

 

“Diane?”

 

“He gets quiet, Steve.”

 

Steve nodded, “That's a good one. HE GETS QUIET!”

 

Number four flipped to reveal TENSE SILENCE.

 

“Sue?”

 

Sue leaned to the mic, “He fiddles with the keys.”

 

“Yes, yes! KEY FIDDLING!”

 

NERVOUS MOVEMENT appeared at the number three spot. Seventeen points got added to the tally.

 

Since Sue's answer was higher up, Steve asked if she wanted to pass or play. “We're going to play, Steve.”

 

Diane went back to her family, and the McLaughlins formed a huddle as Steve walked over to Jenn. “Okay, my dear, here we go. Four more answers up on the board. Name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

“He consumes a strong drink, Steve.”

 

Steve tapped her on the arm with the yellow question card, “There we go…TAKES A DRINK!”

 

The number two spot turned to show DRINKS LIQUID COURAGE and ironically twenty-one points got added to the question's total.

 

Steve smiled over to Chase, “Well, man, let's do it. Three more answers left on the board. Name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

Chase glanced up at the three answers and tried to think of something. “Umm…maybe he just asks her?”

 

“Hey, yeah, that happens! JUST FLAT OUT ASK HER!”

 

The first red X appeared as the loud buzzer sounded and the crowd awwwed while the McLaughlins cheered.

 

Steve moved down to Link, “Only one strike, man. Name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

“Umm…I guess I'd say…eye-fucking.”

 

Everyone gasped at the curse word and then broke out in loud laughter as Steve just stared at him. “Now we're going to have to pay to bleep out a word.” The host winked, “Might as well make them work…what the hell is eye-fucking?”

 

Link blushed, “Well…like when two people can't stop staring at each other. Like they want to eat each other up or something.”

 

The crowd ohhed and ahhed.

 

Steve grinned big, “Ohhhhhh yeah, baby! I've done that.” He turned to the board, “EYE-FUCKING!”

 

INTENSE STARING appeared in the number five slot. Eight points joined the forty-seven from the previous answers as Steve headed toward Charles. “Now, sir, just two more answers left and only one strike. Name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

“He puckers his lips, Steve.”

 

The audience cracked up as Steve's famously large lips acted it out before saying, “PUCKERS HIS LIPS!”

 

Two red Xs flash onto the screen…and the room was filled with a mixture of McLaughlin cheers and everyone else's boos and awws.

 

“Hmm…thought that one was a good one.” Steve said to Charles before turning to Sue. “Okay, Miss Sue, we have to be careful now. You got two strikes and the McLaughlins are over there salivating to steal.”

 

“I…” Sue looked around and tried to come up with an answer in time but couldn't think of anything.

 

The loud buzzer and the three red Xs on the screen had Steve walking over to Rhett. The McLaughlins all screamed out suggestions to the guy. “Here we go, Rhett. For the steal, name a way a woman knows her date is going in for a kiss.”

 

Rhett smiled wickedly, “Well, Steve, we say she knows when he adjusts his position to her.”

 

Steve smirked, “Ohh, boy, I know what you're talking about!”

 

Rhett winked, “Yeah, you do! You know exactly what I'm talking about, Steve.”

 

Pointing to the confused judges, Steve said, “I know…but they don't.” He laughed, “The judges want you to be a little bit more specific about what you mean by that.”

 

“Uhh, well…when he gets in kissing position.”

 

Rhett and everyone chuckled and the other McLaughlins clapped loudly and shouted, “Good answer…good answer!”

 

Steve shook his head, “They need more clarity, man.”

 

Rhett couldn't really think of another way to describe it, “Well could I show you?”

 

“Yeah, go for it.”

 

Rhett turned and looked at his family but didn't want to do it with any of them. Nor did he feel comfortable using Steve, so he glanced at Link and motioned for the guy to come over.

 

The two guys met by the buzzer podium and Rhett moved all up to Link's personal space…they eye-fucked and Rhett leaned down until their lips were inches apart. Rhett placed his hand over Link's mouth and pretended to go in for a big-time kiss…they spun around as Link played it up by wiggling eyebrows and allowing his hands to roam around Rhett's back. They were both laughing and enjoying the moment.

 

Rhett's palm tingled as the guy's lips were pressed against the lucky flesh. It was the most action he had in months so he really had to work hard to keep his cock at bay. He stepped away when he knew he had reached his safety limit and they walked back to their places.

 

Rhett looked over to the judges and smirked, “Something like that.”

 

Steve wiped away tears of laughter, “I believe they and all America now know what you mean, man.” He pointed to the board, “GETS INTO POSITION!”

 

MOVES IN was revealed as the number one answer. The point total jumped to ninety-four and moved over to give the McLaughlins a grand total of one hundred and ninety-four.

 

Once the noise toned down a bit Steve said, “Let's see number six…”

 

The audience chanted, “AFTER HE DOES IT!”

 

Steve stared into the camera, “Wow…just wow.”

 

A few seconds passed before Sara's voice once again yelled, “CUT!” The woman was grinning even more this time than last, “You guys might be my two favorite families of all time. We'll take a five-minute break in case anyone needs to use the restroom.”

 

She walked offstage with Steve as the families mingled. Rhett walked over to Link, “Hey, man, thanks for going along with my whole position thing. That was so much fun.”

 

“Hey, I'm no fool. If a cute guy asks me to get close, I'm always saying hell yes.”

 

Rhett smirked, “So you're saying I'm cute?”

 

“I…uhh…maybe.”

 

“Did you really make out with your teddy bear?”

 

“Well, we moved around a lot while I was growing up so normal, human opportunity was lacking. So yeah, Teddy was my first. I gazed into his red-glassy eyes and let him have the full Link Neal experience.”

 

Rhett couldn't stop from saying, “Mhmm.” He blushed a bit but only for a few seconds. “Sorry, but that was oddly hot. I'll have to remember that for one of my books.”

 

“You write?”

 

Having failed by mentioning his writing, Rhett decided to let the cat out of the bag. He stretched out a hand and shook Link's. “Don't faint or scream but I'm T.G. Mitchell.”

 

The guy's jaw dropped so fast and those blue eyes got crazy wide. “No fuckn' way!”

 

Rhett smirked, “Yes…yes, fuckn' way. Test me.”

 

“Uhh…in _Work of Heart_ what gifts did Richard give Liam for their anniversaries?”

 

Rhett scoffed, “Well many things…let me count the ways. A poster of a Norman Rockwell painting about peanut butter, a peanut butter t-shirt, a engraved spoon, and a figurine of Emmett Kelly smashing some peanuts.”

 

Link was star-struck and Rhett loved it. It was almost like the rest of the people had vanished except them. But Sara broke through that fantasy when her voice was heard saying, “Okay everyone back to positions please.”

 

As Rhett followed his family back to their side, Link still stood by the podium staring at him. The guy's mom looked concerned as she had to push Link back to their side. Even back in position behind the desk, Link kept staring over at Rhett. Only when Steve walked back onto the stage and the music started did the guy finally snap out of it.

 


	8. Merle Approves

* * *

 

 

Steve stared into the camera, “Welcome back, folks, we are having a blast here today. We got the McLaughlins with one-ninety four and the Neals with one hundred, but it's still anyone's game. Give me, Jenn…give me, Locke.”

 

The theme music started as they walked to the podium.

 

Steve picked up the yellow question card, “Okay, guys, top six answers are on the board. Here we go. Fill in the blank. Never ever have I what?”

 

Locke buzzed in first.

 

Steve rolled his eyes and pointed to the guy.

 

“Uhh, never have I ever…kissed someone from Canada.” The teenager looked over at Jenn and winked, “Well, not yet that is.”

 

The audience laughed.

 

Diane gasped.

 

Steve stared.

 

And Rhett's hands moved up to cover his face.

 

After blinking quite a lot at the grinning perv, Steve leaned on the podium and looked over to the McLaughlin side, “Hey, Rhett?”

 

Rhett peeked through his fingers, “Yes, Steve?”

 

“Remember at the beginning of the show when I whispered that it was my opinion that your boy here was on something?”

 

Everyone laughed. Rhett nodded, “Yes, I remember.”

 

Steve cocked an eyebrow and nudged his head towards Locke, “Exhibit A.”

 

“Hey now!” Locke exclaimed, “It was an awesome answer. Most people will never get to kiss someone from a different country.”

 

Steve just stared at him.

 

Locke smiled, “Well, that's all I got, Steve.” Another wink got sent over to Jenn…who was getting used to it by now and just grinned back.

 

“Yeah, I bet that's true but it ain't up there.” Steve didn't even look to the board but instead glanced out into the audience, “KISSED SOMEONE FROM CANADA!”

 

At the sound of an X, Steve looked back to Locke. “Told you.” The host turned to Jenn then, “Jenn?”

 

She took a second to think, “Umm…Never ever have I…died.”

 

Steve's palm did a face-plant, “I should hope so, since you're here…people don't usually come back from that.”

 

With a sigh, Steve said, “DIED!”

 

Another X flashed on the screen.

 

Steve looked over to the McLaughlin side, “Okay, Cole, fill in the blank. Never ever have I what?”

 

Cole grinned wickedly, “Never have I ever witnessed an exorcism, Steve.”

 

Everyone cracked up at the Pastor's answer as Steve playfully banged his head on the podium before looking at Cole, “Seriously, man?!”

 

“What? I never have and I'm a minister. Did you?”

 

“No, but how in the hell do you think these hundred people surveyed are going to say exorcism?!”

 

“You'd be surprised, Steve.”

 

While keeping eye contact with the smirking man, Steve started walking towards Chase on the Neal's side. Pointing nonchalantly back at the board he said, “EXORCISM!”

 

Chaotic applause and laughter blasted around the room as DEALT WITH THE SUPERNATURAL was revealed to be the number six answer. Weirdly enough thirteen points were added to the total.

 

Steve was beside himself…he stumbled around and clutched his chest looking traumatized…he fell to the ground then and rolled around on the floor. Everyone loved how crazy he was acting.

 

As it went on, Cole received high-fives and hugs from the rest of the McLaughlins. Steve stood up then, came over and clutched the desk. As the noise died down, he contritely straightened his suit jacket before murmuring, “I'm so sorry.”

 

Cole's face just split in an ear-to-ear grin, “See, and you were going to just walk away from me.”

 

“You apparently know more than I do…please forgive me.”

 

“Say a couple hail marys and call me in the morning.” Cole teased.

 

Steve shook his hand before heading down to Rhett. “Oh, dear Lord, look who we have next!” He turned to the audience, “I don't know about y'all but I think this question is going to be the death of me.”

 

From over on the Neal side, Jenn yelled out, “It wasn't on the board, Steve…you're safe.”

 

The host's face lit up at that and Steve walked over to high-five her before walking back to Rhett. Taking a deep breath, Steve stared at the card, “Fill in the blank, Rhett. Never have I ever what?”

 

“Never have I ever been stung by a bee.”

 

“Never?”

 

Rhett shook his head, “Never. And back in college, I was dared by my friend, Ben Greenwood, to get naked and covered in bees. The college's biology department had their own hive and we snuck in, captured the queen and let the rest loose. I held the hole-filled container to my naked chest and soon I was covered in black and yellow. The faculty parking lot was right next door so Ben double-dog dared me to get up on the hood of our Economics Professor's car. Was there for near thirty minutes before campus security came…never got one sting…but I did get fined.”

 

Steve's jaw dropped, “Are there pictures of this?”

 

Link yelled from over at the Neal side, “Yeah is there?”

 

Rhett smiled at them both and winked, “I'll let you see after the show…I have a few pictures on my phone.”

 

“Hell!” Steve said as he squinted at the bearded man with suspicion, “I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't also have video of you standing on that car…dancing or singing something.

 

A telling blush spread across from Rhett's face, “Hey, I was only twenty-three…everyone does crazy things in college.”

 

Steve, “What's on the video, Rhett?”

 

Rhett smiled, “That's for me to know, Steve.”

 

From the audience, a very familiar kid's voice yelled, “IT WAS _I THINK I'LL JUST STAY HERE_ BY MERLE HAGGARD, MR. HARVEY!”

 

“Shep!”

 

Steve rubbed his hands together, “Oh hell yeah, Sara, do we have the ability to find that song? I see a YouTube clip coming on.”

 

A chant started through the crowd…mostly thanks to Theressa and Shepherd egging it on, “DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!”

 

Suddenly over the speakers, the opening chords to the honky tonk song started playing. Rhett groaned but still moved in front of the buzzer podium looking painfully embarrassed.

 

“At least you aren't naked this time.” Cole called out trying to help.

 

Rhett shook his head, “Hey, brother, how about you join me.”

 

“No way in hell, Rhett.”

 

“I can't do this by myself…” Rhett turned to the host, “Come on, Steve, you do it with me.”

 

Steve moved over to the empty space on the McLaughlin side, “Hell no.”

 

“I'll do it with you.” Link walked over and stood next to Rhett. “Merle is my favorite singer. I have all his albums.”

 

“Me too.” Rhett said not feeling as embarrassed anymore.

 

As the words started they turned to face each other and lip-synced spotlessly till the music stopped.

 

Could be holding you tonight  
Could be doing wrong or start doing right  
You don't care about what I think  
I think I'll just stay here and drink

Hey, putting you down, don't square no deal  
Least you'll know the way I feel  
Take all the money in the bank  
I think I'll just stay here and drink

Listen close and you can hear  
That loud jukebox playing in my ear  
Ain't no woman gon' change the way I think  
I think I'll just stay here and drink

Hurtin' me now don't mean a thing  
Since love ain't here, don't feel no pain  
My mind ain't nothing but a total blank  
I think I'll just stay here and drink

 

Thanks to the fact that the show would be edited for time anyways, the producer had allowed the whole song to play. Link and Rhett did double high-fives as the crowd, Steve and their families clapped and cheered for them afterward.

 

They moved back to their spots then and Steve patted Rhett on the back, “Damn, I'm so glad you guys got on. I'm really enjoying this episode.”

 

Steve turned to the judges and his higher-ups, “Seriously we need to think of having a special hour-long episode. There's too much GOLD here.”

 

The audience cheered in agreement.

 

Steve pointed to the board, “STUNG BY BEES!”

 

A red X had the whole crew and audience booing. Rhett had clearly won everyone over with his bee tale.

 

“Man, I genuinely thought that might have been up there.” Steve moved to Jim, “Okay, sir, we got one strike and five answers left. Fill in the blank, Jim. Never have I ever?”

 

“I'm going with what I think will be on the survey by saying…never have I ever got married.”

 

“Awesome answer. GOT MARRIED!”

 

Two Xs flashed, followed by even more disappointed groans and boos.

 

Steve looked perplexed, “That was a great answer. I was sure it would be there.”

 

Moving to Diane, he smiled, “Miss Diane, how about you? Never have you ever what?”

 

Diane thought hard for a second, “Uh…drank alcohol, Steve.”

 

“DRANK ALCOHOL!”

 

The third X joined the first two and everyone was wondering what could be the remaining answers. Steve walked over to the Neals and stopped by Link, “Well, what do you think could be up there?”

 

The blue-eyed man smiled, “Steve, we're going to go with never have I ever been overseas.”

 

This received a round of applause from the crowd. Steve shrugged though, “Man, I'd say it's a good answer but they also had a few good ones too. Let's see…BEEN OVERSEAS!”

 

The four slot turned to show TRAVELED OUT OF THE USA. Fifteen points added to the previous thirteen making the Neal's total points one hundred and twenty-eight.

 

Steve looked up at the board, “Number five...”

 

The crowd and both teams yelled out, “GONE COMMANDO.”

 

“Not this fella..." Steve teased looking wickedly into the camera. "Hell, I might be going commando as we speak.” Everyone laughed and a few catcalls sounded from the audience.

 

“Number Three?”

 

“BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB!”

 

Steve scoffed, “I don't know about y'all, but I'm feeling attacked.”

 

“Number Two?”

 

“CHEATED ON A TEST!”

 

A grin spread across the host's face, “So far I'm four for five. Number One?”

 

“KISSED SOMEONE OF SAME SEX!”

 

Steve blushed, “Well hmmm....four for six.”

 

Link teasingly called out, “I could help you be five for six, Steve. I've been kissed by Rhett already today...could pass on the kindness to you.”

 

“I appreciate the offer, Link, but my wife, Marjorie, would beat my ass. She's very possessive of these lips.” Steve exaggerated the puckering of his lips.

 


	9. Cue the Lightning

* * *

 

 

Steve looked into the camera, “Well, no one's reached three hundred points so let's have, Cole…let's have, Chase.”

 

The theme music played as the two guys moved to the buzzer podium. “Okay, fellas, the point value is now doubled, top 5 answers are on the board. If a man’s zipper breaks at church what might he use to cover it up?”

 

Chase hit the buzzer first.

 

Steve pointed over to him.

 

“His Bible.”

 

“HIS BIBLE!”

 

BIBLE/HYMN BOOK appeared in the number two spot worth fifteen points. With double value, it turned into thirty.

 

Chase and Steve turned to Cole, “Well he took my first answer, so I'm going to say a jacket, Steve.”

 

JACKET/COAT was revealed in the number three slot worth twelve. Bringing the total up to fifty-four.

 

The Neals cheered since Chase's answer was higher up on the board so Chase could choose whether they played or passed. “We're so going to play, Steve.”

 

Cole walked back to the McLaughlin side as Steve made his way to Link, “All right now let's get straight to it, man. If a man's zipper breaks in church what might he use to cover it up?”

 

“Well, Steve, my parents always made me get fancy for church so I'd pull out my dress-shirt to cover up.”

 

This got the guy a high-five from Steve, “BOTTOM OF A SHIRT!”

 

The number four spot flipped to show SHIRT-TAIL. It had been worth ten points which made the total now seventy-four.

 

Moving to Charles, Steve shook the guy's hand, “Well, sir, it's looking good…no strikes and only two answers left. If a man's zipper breaks in church what might he use to cover it up?”

 

Charles leaned towards the mic, “The bulletin, Steve.”

 

“Oh, good one. BULLETIN!”

 

The first red X flashed on the screen and the crowd awwwed.

 

“Wow, I thought that would have been there.” Steve moved over to Sue, “Okay Miss Sue, If a man's zipper breaks in church what might he use to cover it up?”

 

Sue thought for a bit, “Maybe his hand?”

 

“Great answer! HIS HAND!”

 

Two red Xs flashed over the board. More awws filled the air.

 

“Okay Jenn, here's the deal.” Steve told her as he moved over, “Y'all got two strikes. If your team guesses the last two answers correctly you'll be heading to the Fast Money…if not and the McLaughlins get it we'll be heading into sudden death.”

 

Jenn stared at the answers already given, “How about his wife's purse?”

 

The rest of the Neals cheerfully roared believing Jenn got it.

 

“HIS WIFE'S PURSE!”

 

A shocked silence followed the appearance of the third red X.

 

Steve quickly walked over to Rhett. “Okay, man, no matter if you get this question right or wrong we'll be heading into sudden death. If a man's zipper breaks in church what might he use to cover it up?”

 

Rhett gulped, “Well, the family had some ideas, but I'm going to go out on my own and say whoever is sitting next to him.”

 

A collective gasp echoed around the stage.

 

Steve just stood there dumbfounded looking at Rhett as if the tall man had lost his mind, “Wow…just wow.”

 

Even Rhett's family were too shocked to cheer. Several whoa's and oh my's were uttered and Jim thinking he hadn't heard his son correctly asked, “A what?”

 

Locke, by this time, was cracking up, “Dad said whoever is sitting next to you, Pappy Mac.”

 

“Oh, my!” Jim stared over at his youngest son, “I'm sorry but that isn't a good answer, Rhett.”

 

Rhett looked at his family and then to Steve, “I meant like a friend, not a stranger.”

 

Cole was dying, “Just stop talking, Rhett. That doesn't make it any better.”

 

By now Steve had collapsed to the floor and was on hands and knees trying to breathe through the laughter, “He says whoever is sitting next to you and then tried to fix it by saying it's a friend.” The guy rolled over still losing it…laughing so hard Steve's mouth was wide-open. “Oh gawd, this isn't going to be up there, but it will be on YouTube very shortly. A FRIEND!”

 

To the astonishment of everyone…even truth be told to Rhett…the number four space flipped to reveal PERSON worth eight points. The total points ended up at ninety which joined the McLaughlin's previous grand total and they were now at two hundred ninety-four. Just six points away from the needed three hundred.

 

“Show me number one.” Steve said just as curious as everyone.

 

The audience and teams all chanted, “NOTHING!”

 

“Nothing? So they just sitting there all hanging out and doing nothing?”

 

Cole spoke, “Maybe they were praying God would fix the zipper for them, Steve.”

 

Everyone laughed at that.

 

“Well, this is turning into quite a long one, folks. Since both teams are still under three hundred we're gonna have to play sudden death. Give me, Rhett. Give me, Link.

 

The theme music played as the two captains moved to the podium and shook hands again. Steve picked up the final question card, “Guys for this survey we're asking for the top answer only. Whoever gets this answer right will win the game. Here we go. Name something that dries up when it gets old.”

 

Rhett buzzed in first.

 

“Rhett?”

 

“Asparagus, Steve.”

 

Steve and Link stared at him.

 

“Good answer?”

 

Steve still stared.

 

Link was grinning.

 

Rhett bent over with embarrassed laughter.

 

Steve pointed to the empty spot on the McLaughlin side and motioned for Rhett to go back…as if to say the answer was so dumb there was no way in hell it was going to be there.

 

Rhett laughed and started to go but came back.

 

Steve moved to the board wall and leaned his head against it, “ASPARAGUS!”

 

FRUIT/VEGETABLES appeared.

 

A stunned host looked up not believing his ears as Rhett cheered wildly.

 

Rhett started dancing around then, “YEAH! HELL YEAH!”

 

Steve turned to stare at the guy in utter amazement. He shook the man's hand apologetically…even to the point of bowing and laying his forehead on Rhett's hand. He kept a hold on it as he walked the man back to the celebrating McLaughlin side.

 

Steve hugged Rhett and playfully repeated, “I’m sorry…I'm sorry.”

 

But as Steve walked away a few steps he suddenly turned toward Rhett again with brown eyes glaring, “At least admit you didn't think it was going to be up there…I know you thought it.”

 

Rhett chuckled admitting nothing, “But it is up there.”

 

Steve's one eyebrow was raised.

 

Rhett sheepishly smiled, “I…I…”

 

Steve stared as he walked back over, “Come on, man, just say it.”

 

Rhett laughed while moving away from the host, “I don’t want any problems here, Mr. Harvey.”

 

Steve cracked up at that and placed a hand on Rhett's shoulder, “Okay, okay. I'll accept full responsibility. I…was wrong. One hundred percent wrong.” Even with saying that, Steve jokingly muttered, “I still say asparagus was a crazy answer.”

 

As the theme music kept repeating, Steve walked over to the Neals and quickly shook their hands. “Great family, man…you guys fought hard…never gave up.” He then moved back to center stage, “Hey McLaughlins let's go…I need two of yah to play for Fast Money.”

 

Rhett and Diane danced out to the music and stood on either side of him. Steve playfully glared up at Rhett who just grinned big. Steve looked into the camera, “I got asparagus man and Miss Diane…we're gonna make it happen. Stick around, folks. With these two it's bound to be wild.”

 

A few seconds later Sara was thricely yelling out, “Cut!”

 


	10. Goodbye and Heeeellllloooo

* * *

 

 

The Neals were escorted back to the green room as Rhett was taken to the isolation room.

 

Having been involved in four prior rounds of Fast Money, Link knew about how much time he would have to say goodbye to Rhett before the guy was needed on set. Link's parents were already talking about leaving for North Carolina as soon as filming wrapped, so he had snuck out and headed straight toward the isolation room.

 

He saw with all chaos of getting things ready for Fast Money, that the door was unguarded. Link raced over and slipped into the room. Because the entire room was soundproofed Rhett only wore a normal set of headphones. The guy's head bopped away to whatever song was being played…well until those green eyes widened when they saw Link there.

 

Only one side of the headphones was pushed back, “Link?”

 

“Hey, Rhett. I just wanted to quickly say goodbye. My family is planning to head out as soon as the show is done.”

 

“Well, that sucks. I was hoping to have some time before the next episode to talk more with you. I've really enjoyed all our little chats…and goofball moments. Thanks again for not letting me do the lip-syncing alone.”

 

Link smiled, “Probably wasn't as thrilling as doing it on top of a car but it had been pretty epic. So glad they allowed us to do that. Hope it somehow gets on the actual show.”

 

“Well for your sake I will agree but I'd rather not get hounded by all my friends for it.” Rhett gasped all of a sudden, “Oh man, this is a great song!”

 

“What is it?”

 

Rhett pointed over to the coffee table, “Grab that spare set and hook in…you'll love it.”

 

Link did as told and soon the sounds of Johnny Cash and June Carter singing _Going to Jackson_ reverberated through their skulls. “Oh yeah, I love this one too. Always turn it up when driving.”

 

 

As the two guys enjoyed the classic song, the camera began to roll again out on stage.

 

Steve stood with Diane, “Hey welcome back to the Feud, everybody. The McLaughlin family fought hard and won the game.”

 

The audience cheered loud for that while Diane clapped and the other McLaughlins chanted her name.

 

Steve looked right into the camera, “And now its time to play…”

 

Steve and everyone screamed out, “FAST MONEY!”

 

He turned to Diane, “You ready, darling?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Twenty seconds on the clock. It won't start until I finish reading the first question. Let's win that money. We asked a hundred men…name a place on your body a doctor might look in with a little flashlight.”

 

Diane looked like a deer caught in headlights, “Uh…umm…a butt.”

 

Steve laughed at the unexpected answer as did the crowd. He was so far gone they had to stop the clock while he tried to control his fit of giggles. It wasn't going well.

 

 

During this hilarity, Link and Rhett were standing a bit closer while talking…both with one side of the headphones still on to listen to the music. Since there was nothing to write on, Link took out his wallet and pulled out two dollar bills. He wrote down his information on the one for the bearded man and then Rhett did the same on the other bill.

 

“Well, I better head out…” Link took off the headphones and set them back on the table, “They'll be coming for you soon. Good luck, man.”

 

 

Rhett watched the guy move toward the door and knew he couldn't allow it. His own headphones were removed as he raced over and turned Link around…pushing the man gently against the door. His green eyes slid over those now parted lips. “I…I wanted to say a more proper goodbye.”

 

He moved down till their lips barely brushed against each other. The kiss started off soft but soon turned hot and became all grab and devour.

 

 

Out on the floor, Steve leaned over to Diane as they faced the Fast Money board, “Okay, darling, let's find out how you did.”

 

The woman shook her head, not at all sure she had done well.

 

“Hey now, it will be fine. You got some good ones.” He side-hugged her as he read off the first question again, “We asked a hundred men to name a place on your…”

 

Steve chuckled and Diane blushed.

 

He started over again, “Name a place…on your body that a doctor might look in with a little flashlight. You said…”

 

Everyone, especially Diane, was cracking up softly as the word butt appeared on the first line.

 

Steve turned toward her and in a mock whisper said, “I'm fifty-four years old. I’ve been to the doctor so many times. But I can assure you…if that man…ever…takes a flashlight…and shines it…” Steve cracked up, “Me and that man right there are going to be tearing that whole office up!”

 

Laughter echoed around the room.

 

Steve pointed to the board, “Survey said?”

 

With everyone, even Diane expecting to see a zero they were all floored when the number sixteen showed up instead. Diane was all cocky then and strutted around a still stunned Steve. Locke, Cole, and Jim were losing their minds as they cheered for her.

 

 

Back in the isolation room, Link and Rhett had moved from the door onto the small sofa. To cover their noises, Rhett had flipped the switch on the sound system so music filled the room without the need of earphones. They were both sideways on the sofa facing each other. Fingers tugged into hair and roamed downward…other things were rubbed then as lips stayed locked together and tongues kept saying hello.

 

Out on the floor, Diane's last answer of football showed and she received a forty-five for it. This gave her a total of one hundred and fourteen points.

 

A knock sounded on the isolation room's door about this time. “Mr. McLaughlin, it's time.”

 

The two on the sofa were in their own world and thanks to the music playing didn't even hear the guy.

 

Another knock, “Mr. McLaughlin? They're waiting for you to come out for Fast Money. Hello?”

 

The door slowly opened and the stagehand's face poked around. The look of sheer astonishment on Alex's face was priceless when he saw the make-out session on the sofa. He froze not knowing what to do. So he shut the door and raced out to his supervisor, Sara, on the side of the set and whispered what was going on.

 

Steve was staring over at them, “Sara where's Rhett?”

 

She looked over to the cameramen, “Cut, guys.”

 

Sara walked over and whispered into the concerned host's ear. “Umm, Steve, we have an issue that needs your immediate attention.”

 

Rubin came out to fill the time as Steve, Sara, and Alex walked back to the isolation room.

 

Steve reached out, grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. The sight that greeted them was of Rhett laying on the sofa with the blue shirt spread apart while Link was unbuttoning his own shirt. The dark-haired man was straddling Rhett's lap and was in the process of leaning own for another kiss.

 

The host started to chuckle as a gushy smile spread across his face. “Survey says…Daaaaaammmnnnnn!”

 

He turned back to Sara and Alex, “We'll give them five more minutes...wait, better make that ten. Hell, we can re-tape the ending and pick another McLaughlin to take Rhett's place. I have a feeling what's going on in that room is gonna take a lifetime.”

 

THE END


End file.
